Splint is Out! (Day 33?)

So the nasty horrendous splint is finally out. I had my appointment on Monday (the day before my 4 week "anniversary") and like I said on my last post, my main surgeon was not there as he had a family emergency back in England. So, the hot resident was there to see me (does it sound like I minded? lol). Although I was a little concerned that he would say that we should wait for my regular doc to come back to make certain that's what he wanted. But, I know he had said he would take it out at the 4 week mark. So, hot resident just wanted to confirm with me if main doc said that he would take it out at this appt and I told him yes so he said that was good enough for him. Oh, and I asked about whether this was going to hurt (b/c I had read Meredith's post that the doc would have to numb her first so I was a tad nervous). They said it could hurt a little b/c the wires attaching it to my braces could hit against my gums possibly. So, I just prepared myself for that. Next, hot resident tells me that this splint it going to be totally nasty and smelly, etc. (Nice, way to impress him, huh? haha). So, I ask him "You're going to wear a mask, right?" To which he responds that he wasn't planning on it so he could get the full effect and really make fun of me and how gross it is (he is quite the funny guy). To which I told him "I don't think so!!". so, in the end, I won and he wore the mask. It was pretty gross, but I am sure they have seen worse. Oh, and it didn't hurt not even one tiny little bit. This may have been b/c he did a really good job taking it out. He explained to me that he could do it a lot faster (b/c it did take a little while), but he found it's much better overall to really take your time with it. So, that may have been why there was no pain involved, which of course, was a very good thing. :)

So, he did warn me that when he took it out that my teeth would be pretty out of whack. I knew this already as I had decided to go ahead with this surgery prior to my teeth being in the perfect position. (This was ok'd by my ortho as I had mentioned in previous posts. Apparently there are certain things that must be done before surgery, but others that can be worked on afterward). Well, even though I knew this, I couldn't believe how "out of whack" they were. See, the splint was made to account for this so it felt like my teeth came together great while the splint was in. It was sooo strange right after he took it out. I am pretty sure only two teeth in the back right side of my mouth were touching; nothing else at all. And I tried to talk to him and had this incredibly horrible lisp. It was quite embarrassing. He even said, yeah you are talking a little funny. But, he said I would get used to it and it would get better. Sure enough, after a few days it was much better. To this day though (almost a week later), I still have to try a little harder to talk right. But, I think it's really close to back to normal.

Now the eating was the most difficult part. Before this visit, I was technically allowed to have soft food, but I had tried it and it was just too difficult and too much of a mess with the darn splint in. So, I had pretty much given up on that and just took the easy way out and stuck with Ensure and soup. So, that is all I really had for four weeks (and probably why I lost 20 pounds!!! Best part of this whole process so far) :) But after he took the splint out, he told me once again that I could eat soft foods. Basically he told me he just wanted me to stay away from anything really difficult to chew, like a bagel or steak. So, after this appt, my mom and I headed to my grandfathers house to pay him a visit since I hadn't seen him for a while. He is 95 years old and such a sweetie. He told me he thought I was doing great and could just see a little swelling. Well, I decided my mom should take a pic of me and him, especially since I hadn't had one taken for a while. So, of course I am smiling in the one and my Mom keeps telling me stop smiling so big. But, I didn't feel like I was - I thought I was smiling normal. Well, I looked at the picture afterwards and got soooo upset. I thought I looked horrible. It was pretty embarrassing b/c I burst into tears right in front of my grandfather. :( And then I felt bad b/c I knew he felt so bad for me. He kept telling me "Well, I think you look beautiful, sweetie". (I told you, he is really too cute).

But, I finally pulled myself together and me and my Mom went to the mall for a full (as in till after 11:00 pm!) day of shopping. Things went pretty good and I really didn't even get tired until the very end of the day. I know people could tell about my surgery, but once I was at the mall and realized how much shopping I still needed to get done, I stopped worrying about my face. We went out to TGI Fridays later to eat and I shared a pasta meal with my Mom. She cut it up real tiny for me (which looking back now, actually may have made it more difficult since only two teeth were touching) and I only had a very very little bit, but it took me forever!! It was basically like my mouth had no clue how to eat anymore. :( I could feel my bottom jaw doing all sorts of crazy things like moving side to side and my tongue was no better. I don't really know how to explain it right but I felt like a baby trying to learn how to eat all over again. It was pretty bad. So, overall it wasn't a great day, but I did get almost all of my Christmas shopping done, so not a bad day either. :)

So, the next day, Tuesday, was supposed to be my final day at home. I think taking off four weeks from work was overall a very good decision, but there are certain things about being at home that are not good. I didn't do much, for example, other than sleep. And I would have nothing better to do than look at myself in the mirror and constantly think about my face and stress about how it looked. This led me to feeling very upset and depressed a few times. Well, I decided late that night after getting extremely upset that I did not want to go back to work on Wed. (I had planned on doing a half day) In fact, I didn't want to go back ever and I didn't want to leave my house ever again. I just didn't want anyone seeing me. Even though I knew from reading so many other blogs to expect some depression, maybe even severe depression, I really didn't think it would happen to me. Well, it did. I am glad that at least I knew this was a normal feeling and that it was to be expected. I mean, it is such a major surgery and just a major huge event that can take its toll. But that only comforted me so much and I overall just felt miserable. :(

My boyfriend tried to encourage me and make me feel better and I think it actually worked some. So after staying home again on Wednesday, I knew I had to go back on Thursday. I was really nervous and got almost no sleep (maybe 3 hrs tops) Wed night. And I knew everyone (there are close to 100 people at my work) would be coming over to my office on Thu so I figured I wouldn't get much done, which I was right. But, I don't know why I was so worried. I guess I thought people would think I looked really bad and not understand that it takes a long time to heal. But everyone was soooo nice. In fact, I felt so much better about myself after the day was over. Everyone was just so happy to have me back and to know that I was ok and most said they thought I looked really good. A lot of them said they noticed a little swelling but not much. And some said they could only notice something was different when I talked (which is understandable b/c I really can't feel my bottom lip and chin at all so I can't move it right). And so many people told me how skinny I looked. That was the best part!! So, honestly, in some ways I wish I would have gone back sooner. It was so nice to hear such nice things and it was even nicer to get my mind off of being depressed and back into work and other things. I do have to say I got really really tired but I think that was more b/c I only got 3 hrs of sleep. I have been picking up my calories a lot more with each day and would guess I was probably up to about 1,000 a day then and now (Sunday) up to 1,200 probably.

The eating is also getting a lot better. I think I still am chewing really funny, although better, and I find myself "eating" the inside of my lower lip a lot (that has been pretty annoying, even though it doesn't hurt since I can't feel it). But, I have eaten sooo many more things, especially this weekend (Oh, and I was one of the ones on the East Coast, I'm in Baltimore, completely snowed in from about a foot and a half of snow). I experimented with tv dinners (meatloaf and chicken) and waffles and cereal. I even had a York peppermint patty which is the first "bad" thing I have had in about 5 weeks. It was pretty freakin amazing!! :) But, eating is getting a lot better. Now I just need to get back to the gym so I don't gain the weight back.

Oh, and as far as how I look.. I am still not sure it's changing much. I think it may be a little less swollen than back on Monday. When I look in the mirror, I don't think it looks too bad, but then again, pictures are a different story. But at this point, I have learned that nobody else really cares and I am just going to stop thinking about it and give it the full 4 months and see how it looks after that. Oh, and I almost forgot, I went to see the ortho on Thursday as well. I will save that for the next post though since it is late and this one has dragged on. I will say that it went really really well though.

Talk to you all soon. Hopefully before Christmas, but if not, I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas!! :)

Bad Blogger (Day 25)

Sorry I have been so bad about blogging. Since I last wrote, I went in to see my surgeon for my two week follow-up. I don't know if I mentioned in my previous post (it actually may have happened right after I wrote), but I slipped on the stairs (probably b/c I was wearing my super comfy fuzzy socks) and kinda-sorta fell. I didn't fall all the way and hit my face (thank God!), but the strangest thing happened.. Keep in mind, this was when my mouth was completely banded shut and I could not open it, even the slightest. But somehow when I fell, my lower jaw opened up and snapped back shut (I still have no clue how that happened when they were sooo tightly shut). It was so bad that a rubberband completely snapped. It hurt pretty bad too. So I got all upset of course (I have been pretty emotional at times during this whole process) and was convinced at first that I messed something up. Well, I finally calmed down and realized I was seeing the doctor soon, so he could take a look.

So one of the first things the doctor did at this visit was to take an x-ray to make sure everything was still ok. Everything turned out to be fine and he was still very pleased with how everything was progressing. He reassured me again that the swelling is still going to go down. And I had it wrong in my last post... He had said that after two weeks approx 80% of the swelling is gone and that the remaining 20% can take as long as 3-4 months to completely go away. I have to say that did make me feel quite a bit better. And then, the best part of all, he took off those horrible bands that were holding my mouth completely shut. He said he still wanted to keep the splint in since, at that point, I was finally fitting into it correctly. And he put on much looser bands and said I could take these off to brush and eat. Man, it was sooo nice being able to open my mouth after all that time!! Funny thing was, I was so used to not opening it at all, it took me awhile to get used to opening it again. For a while, I would still just keep talking with my mouth closed. It was strange.

Since the day started out nicely, I decided to visit my "mother-in-law" (that's what me, my mom, and my "mother-in-law" call her since I have been with her son for 8 years now) :) It was really nice to see her and she told me I looked a lot skinnier and that she thought I was doing a really great job with talking and everything. Basically she made me feel really good. So then me and my mom went home and decided we were going to end out the day by going to the movies. We were dying to see the Blind Side b/c Michael Oher is a Raven (my team!!) and it just looked like a really good movie. So, I really had been doing pretty good with food up until that point (as far as not craving real food like crazy), but MAN, the smell of that popcorn and everything else was almost too much to bear. But, overall, it was a good day.

So, the following Thursday (3 days later) we decided I should try to get up and move around again so my mom and I went to the movies (again, I know) and this time we saw New Moon (I love the Twilight books, but agree with Stephanie, the movies aren't quite as great). So, the movie went well. Then we decided to go get our nails done at the place I always go. So, as soon as I walk in, the owner (who knows me by name) looks at me strangely and I knew immediately that she could tell something is wrong with my face. And even if I couldn't, she then says (with a very concerned/upset look on her face) "What is wrong?!". So, I told her all about the surgery and everything and she asked me how long ago it was. I told her just over two weeks. And she was like "Wow, it's still that bad after two weeks?". Man, did that make me feel not-so-good. I mean, I know her english isn't all that great and I am sure she didn't realize how major of a surgery this was, but it still sucked. I guess I thought that even though I thought it looked kinda bad still that maybe other people wouldn't really notice. Guess I was wrong.

So, anyway, since then (it's now a little over a week later), the only thing that has really changed is how I feel from day to day about my face. I swear I can't tell anymore if it is even changing. Some days, I feel pretty darn good about it, but then by the end of the day or the next morning, I think it looks terrible again. I still am not convinced that it's ever going to go away. And I still wonder if this is just my "new" face. But my mom and those close to me insist it is still swelling. My face looks puffy, not just like the bones have moved. And I guess I should have a little more faith in what the doctors say, huh? It's just very hard sometimes. I mean, I love that it seems that my teeth come together now (sorta still hard to tell how everything will truly feel with this darn splint in) and I love that my chin does not stick out nearly as far as it used to (good job on the genioplasty from what I can tell so far!!). But, my lower jaw area just still looks so darn big, although I think overall it does seem a little better than a week ago. Oh well, I guess all I can do is be patient at this point.

So finally, I have another appointment coming up on Monday. My doctor had said that he would take out my splint at this 4 week appointment. Only problem is, he had a family emergency and had to go back to England for a little while.. so I am hoping like crazy the main resident (who I have seen just as much if not more than my main doctor) will still take it out. I don't want to go back to work with this thing in. :( I guess we'll see. I will update this more after that appointment and I swear at some point I will get all those pictures added in. They are still on my Mom's camera. Oh, and I am up to 18 pounds lost in total!! YAY!

Oh, and here is the picture of my "new jaw". The plate and screws are pretty cool, I think. :)

Starting to Feel a Little Better (Day 11)

So, today was the first time since surgery that I have been up and moving around most of the day. I have been "living" downstairs in my basement since the surgery. I sleep on the one couch and my Mom sleeps on the other. This has been working out pretty nicely b/c I don't disturb my boyfriend that way and it's actually easier to prop myself up to sleep on the couch than in my bed. (I tried my bed one night and woke up constantly feeling panicky). The sleeping has been getting better and I think last night was the first night I slept thru the night. We didn't go to sleep until about 2 or 2:30 and my Mom didn't wake me up until 12 (noon)! I was kinda upset she let me sleep that late (it's really dark in my basement so I guess that's why I didn't wake up) but maybe I just really needed the rest.
I have also been able to cut back on the pain killer (Roxicet). I was taking it every 4 hours at first and then have gradually been cutting back. Yesterday I didn't take anything the whole day and then I took some last night, slept for 10 hours and haven't taken anything since. I think I am going to keep taking it at night for a little while though b/c it definitely helps me sleep. On a side note, when I went in to see the surgeon this past Mon, he asked me if I had been taking Ibuprofen. I said no. And he said he wanted me to add that in between the Roxicet doses every 6 - 8 hours. I did not say anything about the pain being too much or the Roxicet not working enough so I am thinking he wanted me to take it for another reason. Do you all know if Ibuprofen helps to reduce swelling? That's the only thing I can think. So, I have been taking that once a day as well (I didn't want to overdo it).
But anyway, back to the point of the post. I don't know if I have mentioned before that my boyfriend is a total neatfreak. So needless to say, with my medicines, syringes, drinks, toiletries, etc that had all started taking over the basement table and other parts of the basement, I think he was about to have a panic attack. He handled it pretty well for quite a while and did his best to ignore it, but I think yesterday it was starting to get to him. And honestly it was starting to bother me too. Besides, it was my jaw that was broken, not my legs or arms. I think I started to realize that I needed to move around a little more and do a little more. So, I finally got myself up and cleaned up everything and organized the stuff I would still need out into a container. Everything else I put away. Then I vacuumed and dusted and that room is now cleaner than before the surgery. :)
But, my point is I think it was really helpful to get up and move around. It is hard b/c I don't want to leave the house (still feel too swollen) and there's not a ton to do around the house, but I think just laying around and sleeping is not helping me to heal any faster. Oh, and my Mom and I did play Wii two days ago as well. I think just a little bit of activity really helps. It seems like today is the first day where I have felt like the swelling is finally starting to look a little better. I have to be honest, I have been pretty panicky, saying crazy things to my Mom like "What if this is what my face is just going to look like? What if this swelling isn't going to go away anymore?". And of course she tells me I am crazy and asks me if I think it makes sense that I would have a "skinny" face before surgery and then all of a sudden a "fat" face afterwards? To which she answers herself "It's SWELLING!! It WILL go away and you need to stop panicking." I know she is right. But it is just scary. I think I keep focusing on the fact that they said in two weeks 90% (I think) of the swelling will be gone. So, I keep thiking of it like a countdown.. like now, I only have 3 - 4 more days for it to go away. What if it doesn't?!?! But, like I said, it did seem to be a fairly noticeable difference today and then looking at pictures a few days ago so hopefully in a few more days it will be a lot better. Did any of you have these fears too?
Well, I have taken pictures of myself every day, and I wanted to put them on this post, but they are on my Mom's camera and she just went out with my dad to a basketball game for a few hours so it will have to wait till next time. Then maybe you all can tell me your thoughts on my swelling.
Oh, and finally, I was all pumped up about the fact that I lost 10 pounds in like the first 6 days, but I haven't lost even a tenth of a pound since and all I have had is liquid. Did this happen to any of you? I would really like to lose at least 10 more pounds and was hoping I would on this liquid diet. I just don't know how it is physically possible not to be losing weight when I am probably taking in less than 800 calories a day. Maybe me being active lately will start to help with that. Ok, well it is time to sign off now. I am seeing the surgeon on Monday so if I don't write before then, I will definitely try to write an update after that appointment. Talk to you soon!!

Could Definitely Feel Better (Day 7?)

So, I am now not sure if today should be Day 7 or Day 6 (I am not sure if surgery day, Tue, should be day 1 or if Wed really should have been), but I guess it really doesn't matter much. I guess I'll stick with Day 7 to be consistent. So, anyway, today I went to see the surgeon for my first real post-op visit (I did see him a few times in the hospital after the surgery as well) and it was really nice to finally get out of the house (even though it was rainy and miserable). So, I don't think I mentioned that on Days 5 and 6 three of my four rubberbands snapped. I didn't bother trying to put them back on since I was seeing the Dr today, but mainly b/c it felt so nice to have them off. Well, the surgeon said everything was looking really good, but I was still not fitting into my splint properly. :( So, he once again pushed on my jaw like crazy and I had felt like I had to push my jaw so far forward to get it to fit. He put so many rubberbands on and they are sooo tight that now I cannot open my mouth at all. I am extremely frustrated and actually got upset once the doctor left the office. And trust me, its just not good to get upset, everything starts to get swollen and congested. So, I am glad I was able to calm myself down pretty quickly. But, I did talk to him about how I have been kinda panicky at night. I have been able to breathe thru my nose (have gotten a tiny bit congested) but I think I am just so scared that I am going to wake up in a panic b/c I can't breathe. This leads me to not sleeping much thru the night (in addition to not being able to get comfortable). He prescribed me some valium to take at night. I am hoping this will really help, especially now that I really can't breathe thru my mouth hardly at all.
I guess my biggest question is did anyone else have a splint and their mouth banded shut this tight? I know I shouldn't second guess and they know what they are doing (I mean this is all they do), but I just can't help it. I am also feeling like my swelling looks so bad. I looked back at a lot of peoples pictures and I feel like I am not making as much progress. And at first I thought I wasn't as bad as most were. I also just feel like my bottom jaw area looks too far forward. I guess I just need to calm myself down and realize that they know what they are doing. For god's sake, they are cosmetic surgeons as well. And I am still very swollen on the bottom whereas my top jaw is not swollen at all (b/c i only had the bottom jaw done) so I think this is making it look VERY out of balance. But, it is hard to not worry. I mean, this is my face! Well, with all that said, I am not going to post pictures just yet of how I am looking with the bandages off. Maybe I will feel more up to it later.
Oh, I guess the one good thing is that it sounds like it is a very strong possibility that the splint will come out when I see the Dr in one week. I think that hope is what will get me thru this next week. In addition, I just like seeing the Dr really often b/c it just makes me feel better when they say everything looks good and everything is just as it should be.
Well, I think I will leave it at that for now. Hoping to feel a little less depressed tomorrow.

Days 1 - 4

Sorry I didn't update yesterday. I just never really felt quite up to it. I am glad to be home for sure, but it also gets pretty boring pretty quickly. I do feel like today (day 4) has been a little bit better. I think I have been doing pretty good with getting the liquids in. I was told to stay on clear liquids only (gatorade, apple juice, chicken broth, etc) for three days. I think after I write this blog I am going to attempt my first non-clear liquid - Ensure. I have always loved chocolate milk and shakes so I think it will be a nice change, not to mention, provide some much needed vitamins and protein. I, like so many others, have not been dying to have food though. I think for the first few days you are just more worried about how to feel the least discomfort as possible. It definitely sucks to have your mouth banded shut (although I can open my mouth a little) and the splint really sucks. I just feel like I have so much spit that builds up in my mouth that I can barely breathe thru my mouth. I can definitely say I am SOOOO glad I did not have the nose done at the same time. I think I would feel like I was suffocating. This is definitley enough to handle at once. I think once I found out I was only having the lower jaw and genioplasty that I thought I wouldn't be too bad. So, I am a little surprised at how hard it has been. The pain hasn't been terrible, just the discomfort of it all. I would love to just be able to open my mouth and be able to talk. By the way, if the splint and/or bands stay in for 4 weeks, are you ever really able to talk that well? That will be pretty frustrating. But, honestly, I feel a little better today and am hoping to take a nice bath. I am posting pictures from Days 1 -3 but I don't think I am going to post a pic from today (at least not yet). I don't notice too much of a change (maybe the swelling has gone down a little), but my hair is just too nasty for a picture. haha And since I have such long thick hair, I don't know if I am going to have the energy to do that today. But, I am sure I will definitely feel better after the bath at least. Oh, and I do think I have been doing a pretty good job with the salt water rinse (3 times a day), the mouthwash (twice a day) and brushing my teeth. I know some people said they had a lot of trouble with that. I have not been great at it but able to get the rinse in my mouth and swish it around just a little. And I am only able to brush the front teeth a little but I was happy to be able to do that at all. Thank god for that little tiny baby toothbrush. But, all I can do is get the liquids thru a syringe at this point. I am not sure when I will be able to use a cup or spoon. When were you guys able to progress to that stage? Oh, and I do feel like a little baby (another orthoblogger had said that, I don't remember who). My mom basically has had to help me with every little thing. Thank god for her being here 24/7. Oh, and I have found the most difficult part to definitely be nighttime. Does anyone else agree? The first night home was horrible. I could not get comfortable at all and didn't sleep very much. The second night (last night) was definitely better. But, I am hoping at this point each day will start to get better and better. I got a lot of flowers from family/friends which definitely cheered me up some. And all the support has really helped. I hope all of you going thru this now are doing well. I guess I have learned to just take it day by day (and hope those days go fast!!) :) I will try to update tomorrow, but for now, here are some pictures. They are pretty hideous - no makeup, dirty hair, etc - but I guess that's to be expected, huh? :) I definitely swelled, but I think it could have been worse. Also, the first one is day one and the rest are labeled. Well, I'll talk to you all soon!

Very Quick Update

Just wanted to let everyone know that I am still alive. :) I just got home from the hospital, thank god. It just seems like everything takes forever and I feel like the nurses didn't check in on me enough. I got pretty frustrated and upset a couple times. Oh, and when I first woke up after the surgery, I did not have any bands on which was nice. But then when the surgeon checked me out the next morning he said I was not fitting in to the splint correctly. So, they had to put on the bands, which they didn't get right the first time so I had to get it done a second time. Both times hurt pretty bad b/c they were pushing on my jaw and had to pull my mouth open pretty far. And now, my jaws are really tight together which sucks since I had gotten used to having my mouth open. But, at least my nose is clear, thank god (knock on wood). Well, I am still pretty out of it so I will wrap it up now and I will try to write more tomorrow. I did take pictures in the hospital which I will post as well. Thanks to everyone for your well wishes!!

Tomorrow's the Big Day!!

Wow, so I can't believe after about 2 years of waiting that the day is finally here. I think I am as prepared as I will ever be (got most of the supplies I talked about getting). I haven't decided 100% on the nose surgery yet, but I want to review the CT scan with Dr. W. tomorrow and see what he has to say first. I am very much leaning toward not getting it done. I consider myself to be pretty brave and tough, but that might just be a little bit too much. I guess you will all have to wait a couple days to see what I decided. :) I will not have a laptop in the hospital but I am only supposed to be there for one night so I am hoping to post something by Wed night. I definitely started to get nervous last night and even more so throughout today, but I think I am finally fairly calm and just want to get it over and done with and start on the road to recovery. Well, I will see you all "on the other side" and will try to post soon!! :)

Decisions, Decisions.. Ugh..

So, as I mentioned in my previous post, I met with the surgeon last Monday. (This is a very silly side note, but so far, I have met two residents that will be assisting with the surgery and they were both HOT! Damn! I am sure they will be very turned on not only by my no makeup/scary look, but by my huge swollen face, etc. haha I don't care in all honesty, but it does give me something nice to look at) :)
Anyway, back to the issue(s) at hand. So, I met with the surgeon and he introduced me to the hot resident Dr. Q. (Apparently Dr. Q has been doing/assisting with these surgeries for 6 years now and about to finish his residency and go into plastic surgery). Dr. W (my surgeon) wanted Dr. Q to look over everything (final measurements, xrays, molds, me) and make his own analysis before they consulted together. Dr. W (two weeks prior) had told me that I definitely need surgery on the bottom jaw and probably surgery on the top jaw as well. The surgery on the top jaw would have been minor movements (2 mms or so) and it would be to fix the midline (that was only 1 mm) fix the cant and bring it forward 2 mms. So anyway, Dr. Q did his analysis and said in his opinion he obviously agrees on the bottom jaw (bringing it forward and fixing the "crookedness"), but he thinks I need genioplasty as well. I completely agreed with this as my chin definitely sticks out way too much (and will only stick out more when they move the jaw forward). And finally, although he agreed that my top jaw is "off" in the ways Dr. W noted, he basically said he does not think all the added risks and work that would come with doing the top jaw would be worth it when it would be such little movements. He said I would not even notice the difference.
So, Dr. W and him consulted with each other and they both came back in to discuss everything with me. We all agreed right then that I would definitley have lower jaw surgery and the genioplasty. But, he said the upper jaw would be up to me. (And let me tell you, I cannot even make the simplest decisions, like what to have at a restaurant, so both my mom and I knew right then this would be trouble). He went on to say, that he could do the top jaw if I wanted b/c there were definite issues (although very minor) with it, but he restated that the top jaw is a lot riskier than the bottom and when talking about 2 mm it would not be a noticeable change. So they told me to sleep on it and let them know my decision.
Needless to say, I did not "sleep" on it, I tossed and turned the whole night. I must have changed my mind a million times, knowing that I am a perfectionist and knowing that I am going thru all this anyway, so why not just do it all and get it 100% right? But, then the more rational part of me would realize that it is not worth all that extra risk for a change that won't even be noticeable. AND Dr. W did tell me that functional-wise, it would be 100% even with just the lower jaw. And that is what was really important. So, after 3 long days and meeting with my ortho for over an hour (who basically told me the same thing - not worth it), I finally decided to just have the lower jaw and genioplasty. I am relieved in some ways that it will be a lot less surgery and hopefully a little better recovery, but I still keep second guessing my decision. :( I just hope I don't feel dissapointed afterwards that I didn't fix everything to perfection. But, I think overall I am happy and content with the decision.
And if all that weren't enough, when I spoke to my Dr. to let him know my decision, he asked me if I had decided about the surgery on my nose. I had kind of forgotten about this with everything else going on, but at our first meeting I talked to him about how I have a lot of trouble breathing thru my nose, especially on the left side. He told me he could do a procedure to widen my nostrils and to fix my deivated septum. He said he could do this at the same time as my jaw surgery in my case (Depending on the case, sometimes he will not do that at the same time). I would really like to get that done b/c I think a lot of my problems (mouth breathing, previous open bite, etc) are due to my nose and sinus problems. But, he told me there would be packing up my nose for 4 days (i.e. I wouldn't be able to breathe thru my nose AT ALL - Um, scary!) and that it is very uncomfortable when they are taken out. Well, I researched that a little and read some very scary stories, including some people saying that having the packing pulled out was the worst pain they have ever felt in their lives. So, that is where I am at right now. I still have to decide about the nose. If anyone has any experience with this, especially alongside having the jaw surgery, please let me know. Even though I think it would make a huge positive impact on my life (I barely even breathe thru my nose now), I think it might just be too much all at once.
Well, I can't beleive it's only a week and a day away. I feel like I am actually starting to get more calm about the whole thing. I am ready to just have it all over with at this point. Oh, and if anyone has any recommendations on food they ate or specific recipes, I would greatly appreciate it! (All I have is Ensure so far - bad, I know). I will be on here again soon, I am sure.

Preparing for the Big Day (or at least trying)

So, I went out to Target with my Mom and my sis last night, trying to start buying some of the things I know I will need. I used a list Stephanie created (as it just seemed so thorough). Thanks Stephanie!! (Oh and thanks to the other Stephanie - from Kentucky- for attaching the link on her blog!) Here is the link to this list if anyone else might want to check it out. http://mycorrectivejawsurgery.blogspot.com/2008/09/t-minus-8-days.html On a side note, about a week and a half ago, I bought and started taking the following Vitamins: 1,000 mg Vitamin C (twice daily), Vitamin B12 with Folic Acid (once daily), and 30 mg Zinc (once daily). Hopefully at the very least all that Vitamin C will keep me from getting sick or the swine flu (knock on wood).

So anyway, I feel like I spent a lot of time in the store and did not buy much. I got Aquaphor for my lips (which I found some not only in the lotion section, but also the baby section), baby spoons (one with long skinny handles), baby toothbrush (the littlest and skinniest one I could find, as I have heard it is very difficult to brush your teeth at first), sippy cups, hydrogen peroxide (for cleaning mouth and nose), Biotene mouthwash and Afrin. I did not buy any of the medication that was on the list because I felt I should speak with the surgeon before doing this. I will be seeing him on Monday for the pre-surgical visit and I will ask him about the medications then (I would REALLY like to have some sort of decongestant to take, like Sudafed, as I take that a lot now for all my sinus problems and I can only imagine how much worse the congestion will be after the surgery).

Also, I am really frustrated to hear about all the issues with the Zip-n-Squeeze company. I never even bothered ordering anything from them b/c I have heard they went out of business or something and nobody is getting their money back from them. I am dissapointed b/c I wanted to get the Zip-n-Squeeze bags and jaw wrap. Did most of you (who have already had the surgery) get a syringe from the hospital? I am thinking about getting a baster, as Stephanie mentioned, if I am not going to get a syringe. Also, do you know of a good substitute for the jaw wrap?

And finally, the most important question. I was thinking about getting the Magic Bullet as I have seen that some people have gotten this and I like that you can just make one serving at a time. But, then I was reading reveiws on this product and a lot of them were pretty bad. If you guys could give me some opinions on this or make any suggestions as to better food processors that you might have gotten, please let me know. I have been doing a lot of research and I am still not sure what to get. Also, if there are any other items that you really used a lot that are not on my list, please let me know. I just want to be prepared as possible! Although I know if necessary, my Mom would run out in the middle of the night to get me something if I really needed it and didn't have it. I am just so glad she is going to be here to take care of me 24/7. Love you Mom!! No offense to Dave, my boyfriend (or should I say husband - we've been together almost 8 years and have had a house together for 5 years - common law marriage, anyone? lol) but it's just not the same as Mom!! I think all you girls know what I mean. :) I love him too though and I am sure his humor will help me get thru a lot of this. Here's a couple pics of me and him (from a few years back - pre-braces). First one - cute, second one - making me laugh like usual. :)

Well, I will probably post another update after I see the surgeon on Monday. I can't believe it's only a little over 2 weeks away!!

Some Pictures

Ok, I am finally adding some photos so you guys can at least have an idea of what I look like. My camera is currently not working so they are not close up braces photos. I am adding some recent ones and then some from before braces (when I was skinnier and looked better - ha!!)

The first one is me and my sis at Ocean City, MD this past summer. Next me and a friend from last summer. Third one is me and a friend about two years back. And me and some girlfriends at the same event a couple years back.

Sorry, I am new to adding pictures. Not sure if these are big enough to really see very well.. Although I feel like you can see "the chin" in all of them. haha

So much to talk about!!

It has been a while and a lot has happened since my last post. There were times that I really wanted to post but was so afraid I would jinx myself (stupid, I know) so I waited. Well, to start at the beginning of all that has happened in the last couple months.. in August (I believe), I was told by my ortho that I was getting close to being ready for surgery and that I could make an appointment with the surgeon so that he could check things out and look at the progress and see if he thought I was just about ready as well. So, I call up the University of Maryland (this is where my surgeon works) and come to find out, he no longer works there. He had just left and started his own practice. Ok, no reason to panic. I just got the new telephone number, called him and set up an appt. Of course they told me I would have to have all my medical records transferred so I paid to have them delivered to me. So, long story short, I took a half a day off of work and went down to see him to find out that he does not accept my insurance. I was devastated and almost broke into tears right in the middle of the waiting room. I was told I could still see him that day, but I would have to pay out of pocket and it could be hundreds of dollars. Not to mention, if I switched insurances (Dec 1st, when my company renews insurance), I was afraid that seeing him that day might screw up my insurance approval. And yes, I had already gotten the authorization from my insurance co. to have my surgery with him when he was at UMD. So, I basically decided even though I wasted all that time to drive down there that I would not see him that day. And after talking it over with my insurance person at work and speaking with my ortho, I decided it would be best to just go with another surgeon at UMD. My ortho reassured me that any surgeon there would be excellent. It took me a while to get over this (I mean I had been planning this and believing he would be my surgeon for over a year and a half at this point!!), but after a few days of calming down, I was finally ok with the switch.
So I spoke with the insurance person at UMD (I mentioned this in a previous post, but just have to say again that she is amazing and has basically guided me thru most of this process) and I told her I wanted to set up an appt with one of the other surgeons there. She said this was not a problem, but I wouldn't be able to see him for a consult until mid to late October!! This was not good since i wanted to have my surgery by late Oct/early November. She said if I scheduled the surgery with her right then, I could schedule it by mid November. So, I took both appts right then. I thought it seemed a little odd to schedule the surgery when I hadn't even met the doctor. It made me quite nervous actually. But, I knew if I didn't schedule it then, I had no chance of getting the surgery before tax season which would mean I'd have to wait till next May!!! um, I don't think so. ha!!
So, anyway, I finally, today, had my long awaited appt (and very first meeting) with my surgeon. I really did like him a lot and he seemed to only need a few minutes of looking at my teeth and the x-rays and molds that I brought in order to tell me exactly what I will need done. One thing in particular I really like about him is that he is also a cosmetic surgeon. I mean his focus is on orthognathic surgery, but he is a cosmetic surgeon as well. Can't hurt, right? :) So, he took molds of my teeth (which i had already endured two of these in the last two months) and honestly I have never had so much trouble with them. I gagged sooo bad on the top one. :( And they used that weird tool (I forget the name) that they stick in both your ears and it wraps around the front of your face. It's really strange, but it's used for all their measurements. And the best news of all, he says there should not be any problem to have everything ready to go for my surgery which is scheduled on November 17th!! I have to come back in two weeks for the pre-op appt and I will have the surgical hooks put on 6 days prior to the surgery. So, it sounds like things are all set.
Honestly, I think now that I know that things are set in stone (or as much as they will be), I am getting really nervous. I have calmed down at this point some, but earlier today I kinda freaked out. It's really happening in 4 weeks! AHHHH!!! Well, I have let this post drag on too long.. so I will save all my nerves and other feelings and more details of today for the next post. I will probably be updating much more frequently now. But please feel free to comment me with calming thoughts!! :)

Trying not to get to Excited (or Nervous)

As I seem to be saying in every single post now, I am so sorry it has been so long. I guess I get caught up in work, vacationing, going out and it seems like nothing is ever changing on the braces front, so I just end up forgetting to get on here or post. Sorry!

But finally!!! It seems that things may be changing. :) As I mentioned in the title, I am trying my best to not get too excited. I may have misunderstood after all. But, I am hoping that is not the case. Long story short, I went to the ortho this past week (as I do every three weeks) and she takes a look at my teeth and tells the assistant "One more time with the powerchain". So, I am thinking "Is this it?!". I mean, they pretty much have closed up at this point, but from my understanding there was plenty more they still had to do. So I asked the ortho what the next step will be. And she said as soon as they are 100% closed (which they basically are now - 4 days after my appt), they will then refer me back to my surgeon!!! So, unless I completely misunderstood, I am thinking that will happen at my next appt (less than 2 weeks now). I am soooo hesitant to get excited though. I had all but convinced myself that this surgery would not be happening before the end of the year which meant I would have to wait until after next tax season (April 15 2010). So this just came out of nowhere.

So even with my my overall strong self-control, I am still obviously feeling excited. However, with that excitement came a lot of nervous feelings and doubts, suprisingly. I mean, I have known about this and have been committed to this for 1 1/2 years now. Which brings me to my question. Did all of you have these feelings of nervousness and what the hell am I doing? I mean, I know my jaws do not come together correctly and I know I want to fix this once and for all (with this being the third and FINAL time I've been in braces) and I even know that these issues may be the cause or partial cause of my headaches and definitely the cause of my having trouble chewing and speaking, however, at the same time, I have dealt with this my whole life and have survived. Sometimes it just seems so crazy that I am voluntarily having surgery and major surgery at that. I guess I am nervous and worried that I am ALREADY starting to freak out a little and I haven't even come close to setting a date yet. Ugh. But, I am thining that this is just something that comes with the territory. Please let me know what you guys think and how you felt/feel.

Well, thank you all for your comments so far and for sharing all your experiences with me. I know this will really help me when it is my turn. And Stephanie, I see that your turn finally arrived. I just read all your posts since the surgery and am so excited for you. You are doing great. Thanks again everyone and I will try to post soon. Maybe after my next visit so I can hopefully confirm this post!! :)

Feeling Frustrated

Well, I went to the orthodontist on Thursday and I knew it was going to be a longer visit (probably about 30 mins) as they were putting brackets on my last four teeth. Well, it turned into over an hour! It just seemed like everything was taking forever (which is not fun when they have that huge-ass plastic thing in your mouth stretching it out so I look like a big mouth bass or something). Ha! They ended up taking another bracket off (and I swear it felt like they were going to actually pull my tooth out with it) and repositioning it. And with the new wires in, the ortho said they would only put the powerchain on my front six bottom teeth. This worked out nicely in closing the very large gap that had formed between my front two teeth from the rubberbands I had been wearing (from upper back teeth to lower front teeth), but let me tell you, that space closed in less than 24 hours and boy did it feel like it. Very sore!! But, I kinda like the pain. Means it's working faster. :) But, anyway, the space basically moved back to where it had been originally: between my 3rd and 4th tooth on the bottom. Very annoying.. But onto the frustrating part..
I had originally thought that it was extremely likely that I would be getting the surgery after this past tax season. And lately, I have been told another 3 mos or so.. Ok, I could deal with that.. So this most recent visit, I asked the ortho again and now he is saying it will definitely be "more than a few months". Which I responded (in hopefully a not-too-bitchy tone!! hey, I did smile when I said it! ) that I am starting to get very impatient! He said it comes with the territory and he understands, but that they can only move my teeth as fast as my body will allow (or something like that). So I explained to him that I really want to have this done by November b/c I don't want to have to wait until after NEXT tax season. To which he proclaimed "November is a definite possibility". Ok, don't like the use of the term "possibility". But, I guess I'll take what I can get at this point.
The thing is, I know I don't want to rush something like this. And I can deal with the waiting (although I am an extremely impatient person - always have been). It's just, as I explained in my last post, I will be so upset if it's not until next year b/c I could have gotten the short-term disability insurance. In other words, I would have not had to use any of my own vacation or sick time. Well, I guess I should just stop bitching and realize there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Hopefully everything will start moving a little faster now with the new brackets and wires. We shall see.
I have to say, even though I am jealous, it has been exciting that everyone and their mother seems to have gotten the surgery in the past week or two. Everyone's looking great and I can't wait to see the final outcome. I do feel for them though.. Man, it just sounds like the first week is so hard.
Well, it's now been close to a year and a half with these braces on. Hopefully I will have the surgery before the 2 year mark or things could get ugly. :) I will keep you posted as I find out more. Will be following along closely to all you "lucky" ones on the other side. Sending prayers your way!!

Back from the Dead (aka Tax Season)

Ok, this time it really has been an eternity. But the hell that is tax season has finally ended and I am back to having a life again (Man is that nice!). In fact, I have one very good piece of news... I passed the CPA exam! What a nightmare all that studying was, but it is finally over and I NEVER have to deal with that again (thank god!).

So, anyway, more importantly, how are the braces going you ask.. It has been quite frustrating for some time now. The gaps on top closed up pretty quickly and I have not been wearing a power chain on top for quite some time now (several months at least). In fact, I am not wearing any bands on top at all. Instead of the bands the ortho decided to put thin metal wires around all my brackets and I have to say, I love it. Those damn bands would get so dirty and gross no matter how good I was about brushing and rinsing etc. I think they decided to do that since I would call in like every two weeks and ask to have them replaced since they were not clean anymore. In other words, I think I may have gotten a tad bit annoying. :-) (hehe I know, not me, right?)

But these freakin bottom teeth are being such a pain in my ass. They STILL have not closed and it just feels like it is taking an eternity. I asked the ortho this past Thu how much longer till I can see the surgeon (which will mean I am basically ready for surgery) and she said 3 - 4 months. That will be fine with me if that is actually the case. But, I had thought that I would be ready for surgery right after tax season so I am getting a little frustrated to say the least. All I know is I better be ready by November at the latest b/c otherwise I will have to wait till after next tax season. Not only would the waiting be unbearable but I would be beyond pissed since that would mean I could have gotten the short term disability insurance (or whatever it's called) from Aflac (you have to have it for at least a year before you can use it apparently).

Well, I guess it's best not to think about those things. There is absolutely nothing I can do about it and it really does seem that my bottom teeth have moved quite a bit just since just this last Thu so I am starting to get a little more hopeful now. Maybe they are past that slow-moving stage and are finally on a roll now. :) Anyway, I would like to say I am really happy for Aimee (? I think that is right - full name Ananda) who will be having surgery in less than a week. I have followed her since I started on here b/c she got her braces on only a few days before me. So rather than being jealous :) I am foremost happy for her and also, hopefully that can only mean that maybe my day isn't too far off!! hehe

Since this has turned into a book, I will wrap it up now, but I promise, now that I actually have free time, I will try to update more frequently. Hope to hear from all of you fellow brace bloggers! :)